Ifugaos are not just known for the Rice Terraces, the Woodcraft products, the momma, the melodic intonation of their language... they are also known for their brand of humor.
IFUGAO JOKES. Some i have experienced, most I have heard. Get a taste of the Ifugao Humor. Practical. Deadpan. Matter-of-fact. If you have one, add it and let's get ROFLOL! ^_^
An Ifugao man hitchhiked on a truck. The driver, noticing that the man was a former highschool classmate, sparked a conversation. "Ni, kumusta ka ngay?" "Mayat Met," replied the man. The driver asked, "Manu ngay ti anak mu?"... and in a deadpan manner, with the Ifugao intonation, the man replied, "apay, haan ku met nga ilak-laku." --- (ni Manong talaga, apay gatengem met gayam)
A young man asks an old Ifugao lady, "Apo, apay mainum daytoy danum yu?" The old lady answers, "ay, ay, sika ah apo.. nu kayat mu nga ngar-ngaren." --- (mabalin met nga ngar-ngaren, apay?!?)
In Banaue, a group of tourists bought a lot of woodcarvings. One tourist teased the shop owner, "hala manang kasatnu ngayen nga makaawadik ak, ingatang ko amin nga kwartak." The shop owner, busy packing all the carvings, stated as a matter-of-factly, "ay ket ada pay met sakam." --- (oo nga naman, sige lakad!)
An Ifugao man and his son deal with school assignments.
Son: Apay anya ti English ti kayiw?
Father: Ti English na ket Narra
Son: Apay ngay kunan ni teacher ket Tree?
Father: Ay wen ah, nu tal-lu nga Narra
--- (eto panalo!)
The Ifugao man and his son again deal with school assignments.
Son: Anya ti english ti lapis?
Father: Monggol, anak.
Son: Ni, apay ngay kuna ni teacher ket Pencil
Father: Wen ah, nu na taharan!
--- (ay... ganun ba yun?)
A policeman apprehends a drunk Ifugao spitting near Maharlika. Ifugao covers his spit with his right boot.
Police: Sika, nakitak nga nagtupra ka dita.
Ifugao: Awan met sir.
Police: Ingatum dayta maysa nga sakam.
* Ifugao Raises left foot.
Ifugao: Oh kitam sir, awan.
Police: Dayta maysa ngay.
Ifugao: Ay. ay, aguray sir... nu ingatuk ah ket matumba-ak!
--- (*&#%!$!!!)
An Ifugao lady rides a jeep to Asin. She pays the driver, but lacks a few pesos for the fare.
Driver: Manang, kurang ti bayad yu
Lady: Ay ket ibatug mu nu ayna patenggana dayta bayad ko.
--- (uy, practical nga naman...)
I was sniffing a bottle of Baya (Ifugao wine) in Lagawe. I asked, "Manong, apay napigsa daytoy?." The shop owner looks at me, unsmiling, he said "apay nu haan ah ket kasla danum lang nga in-inumen dayta."
--- (sometimes, i realize, i should not just ask questions! hahaha)
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